Life! Death! Top tips!

And, like Jesus, I’m BACK. I’ve been in my cave for...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 13:28:28 +0000

And, like Jesus, I’m BACK. I’ve been in my cave for too long. There are 105,000 of you following this thing now so I’d better entertain you before you declare war on south London. Here’s a disturbingly sexy bear to kick things off.

Patricia’s husband proudly wears his This Is Not What A...

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 13:30:28 -0100

Patricia’s husband proudly wears his This Is Not What A Feminist Looks Like t-shirt.

Rule #4: adding the slightly passive-aggressive...

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 19:43:44 -0100

Rule #4: adding the slightly passive-aggressive “I’ve had lots of compliments about it!” to your tip translates as “my friends have stared aghast at my creation and groped desperately for an appropriate adjective to describe it”.

:-( I don’t like how vague they were....

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 12:02:29 -0100

:-( I don’t like how vague they were. ‘Replacement’? Is it the end for Chizzy?

The technology known as “gloves” has yet to reach...

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 11:53:36 -0100

The technology known as “gloves” has yet to reach Norfolk.

I too was saddened by the fact that Love It! ceased posting top tips. So much so that I've stopped buying it. Sex Spy just doesn't make up for the lack of Chizzy. I now have to get my top tips fixes from Take A Break and Real People. It's not the same. :(

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 11:58:26 +0000

It makes no sense. I will not rest until I find out why they’ve stopped (read: halfheartedly pester them on Facebook and Twitter).

Note that Love It’s Facebook page is worth reading if only for the phrase “deluded whimsical ‘meat debt’”, used by a woman commenting on a story about offal.

Some say “cellar door” is the most beautiful phrase...

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 19:16:24 +0000

Some say “cellar door” is the most beautiful phrase in the English language. Those people have not heard the majesty that is: “onion ring pole”

Why aren't you posting anymore? I love this blog!

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 18:37:38 +0000

I know! I have been AWOL! My computer broke but, more worryingly, Love It! appear to have dropped their tips page. We need to mobilise, people. This calls for a petition and possibly a march on their offices.

Back to normal posting shortly…

The chronically misused “funky” here means...

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 09:54:23 +0000

The chronically misused “funky” here means “looking like you found it under a bus and then dropped a kebab down it”.

There are an amazing 20,000 of you following this blog. I’m going to celebrate by tie-dyeing my pants in marmalade. SO FUNKY.

No wicker basket? Just staple a bin to your wall and fill it...

Fri, 06 Jul 2012 11:55:20 +0000

No wicker basket? Just staple a bin to your wall and fill it with sanitary towels. SO FUNKY.

My umbrella snapped on a windy day, so I PUT IT IN THE BIN...

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 09:48:00 +0000

My umbrella snapped on a windy day, so I PUT IT IN THE BIN rather than catering for The Borrowers.

Faced with a stale, battered biscuit for pudding, everyone is...

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 09:53:35 +0000

Faced with a stale, battered biscuit for pudding, everyone is suddenly very full, thank you anyway Sammy.

If you break a favourite necklace and can’t mend it, why...

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 09:53:01 +0000

If you break a favourite necklace and can’t mend it, why not put it in the bin?

Sending it to Love It! means, of course, that soon everyone be...

Tue, 29 May 2012 09:53:14 +0000

Sending it to Love It! means, of course, that soon everyone be doing it. Stay one step ahead of the curve and DON’T attach a balloon to your car. Your car will be the one without a balloon.

Simpler: affixing a post-it note marked “SPECIMEN”.

Fri, 18 May 2012 14:26:01 +0000

Simpler: affixing a post-it note marked “SPECIMEN”.

“It’s fun to act out scenes!” say Chizzy. DO...

Fri, 11 May 2012 10:36:12 +0000

“It’s fun to act out scenes!” say Chizzy. DO LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER THAT’S IT KEEP READING OH YES ACT HARDER THAT’S RIGHT.

Nothing says “high-functioning alcoholic” like...

Thu, 03 May 2012 11:03:06 +0000

Nothing says “high-functioning alcoholic” like spirit bottles in the fishtank.

Who DOESN’T love jewellery that rubs off in your hair?

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 09:42:42 +0000

Who DOESN’T love jewellery that rubs off in your hair?

Bringing a whole new meaning to ‘pegging’ (do NOT...

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 14:09:43 +0000

Bringing a whole new meaning to ‘pegging’ (do NOT Google that at work).

This makes marginally more sense if you think of it as a still...

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 13:58:02 +0000

This makes marginally more sense if you think of it as a still from the film “A World Without Combs”.